Thursday, May 16, 2013

Why I'll Miss Kevin Malone From The Office

It's here. The Office end is nigh. And while everyone will miss Jim, Pam, Dwight and Angela, one man often gets lost in the shuffle. That's why it was necessary to mention the best things about the most ridiculously dim, yet ultimately endearing character from the beloved NBC comedy: Kevin Malone. 

1. He's an AWESOME singer/rapper.

Also: Scrantonicity. Never Forget.

2. He has his life priorities sorted out

We're all with you Kev.

3. That giggle

It's like watching a hummingbird or a newborn puppy. You can't help but smile

4. He's really good at figuring out when people are dating.

See? First to call it.

5. He doesn't hide his feelings

6. He's got the best bromance with Oscar.

7. And to add to that, the two of them have super cool dance moves together

Way to try and keep up Kev.


8. He knows how to make the best of a bad situation. Remember the Kleenex-Box shoes? They were a real conversation piece.

And of course, there's that hair... issue.

9. He does so many ridiculous/unreasonable things that you can't help but laugh.

On second thought, this is totally reasonable. 

This is more like it. 

10. You always know where he stands with food


11. He knows how he wants to be treated... Even if it's inappropriate

12. He's also sneaky in the best way. 

13. He has very relatable problems. 

Been there buddy. Been there. 

14. He's always willing to learn. 

Stairs are hard people!   

15. And even though he (ironically) finds his friends stupid sometimes...

18. He still really loves them. 

We'll miss you, big guy. We'll all miss the whole lot of you. Thank you so many wonderful years.

Watch the series finale of The Office tonight at 9/8 central. It's guaranteed to make you (or at least definitely me) cry.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Why Ron Swanson With A Baby Will Make For Brilliant Television

Parks and Recreation's season has ended. But don't be sad! It's been renewed! Let's have a quick celebration!

So let's talk about the finale and what to hope for next season, shall we?


Yea. This guy. 

What on Earth will happen to him with a screaming, pooping child? Great television people, that's what. 

Here's why Ron and Diane having a kid is the best idea ever. 

1. He's already got a proven, written method on how to live life properly: 

2. He would never teach his kids to hide their feelings.

3.  He knows which animals rank supreme as pets. 

This is hands down one of the best lines of the series.

4. He already knows how to babysit!

See? He's definitely better than Ann.

5. He makes a pretty princess.

6. He knows how to plan his kid's wedding. 

Smart and affordable.

7. He would be a great teacher of wealth management/savings

I'm in agreement with Tom, this would be "dope" as a lyric in a rap song. 

8. He really has a way with words 

Yup those are basically the main words I know. 

9. He could do wonders on the anti-drug front. 

Just say no kids. 

10. He would show his kid how to enjoy the small things in life. 

Nothing is better than a complimentary breakfast buffet... even at a strip club. 

11. He would never let his kids be in danger of talking to strangers 

Smart rule. 

12. He would be good at giving his kids the tough love if they try to throw temper tantrums

It's a known technique- the cold shoulder. This would also be a good way to help your kids exercise. Efficient! 

13. He also knows how to teach his kids to have fun. 

Well, he's almost right. No way a scotch lotion is fulfilling. 

14. He would instill patriotism to the highest degree. 

15. He's got sick dance moves to bestow upon the world.

Step Up Ronvolution.

16. FINALLY, he would help his child enjoy what he or she eats. And eat whatever makes them happy. 

Plus if the kid gets Ron Swanson genes, that will be the healthiest meat and junk food eating child of ALL TIME.

NBC listen up, now you know why it's so important to announcement the renewal of Parks and Recreation RIGHT NOW. Or you'll deprive the world of an amazing child fathered by an amazing man. Diane's pretty awesome too. Can't wait for season 6!