Friday, May 3, 2013

Why Ron Swanson With A Baby Will Make For Brilliant Television



Parks and Recreation's season has ended. But don't be sad! It's been renewed! Let's have a quick celebration!



So let's talk about the finale and what to hope for next season, shall we?

RON SWANSON IS HAVING A BABY.


Yea. This guy. 

What on Earth will happen to him with a screaming, pooping child? Great television people, that's what. 

Here's why Ron and Diane having a kid is the best idea ever. 

1. He's already got a proven, written method on how to live life properly: 


2. He would never teach his kids to hide their feelings.



3.  He knows which animals rank supreme as pets. 



This is hands down one of the best lines of the series.

4. He already knows how to babysit!



See? He's definitely better than Ann.

5. He makes a pretty princess.


6. He knows how to plan his kid's wedding. 


Smart and affordable.

7. He would be a great teacher of wealth management/savings


I'm in agreement with Tom, this would be "dope" as a lyric in a rap song. 

8. He really has a way with words 


Yup those are basically the main words I know. 

9. He could do wonders on the anti-drug front. 


Just say no kids. 

10. He would show his kid how to enjoy the small things in life. 


Nothing is better than a complimentary breakfast buffet... even at a strip club. 

11. He would never let his kids be in danger of talking to strangers 


Smart rule. 

12. He would be good at giving his kids the tough love if they try to throw temper tantrums


It's a known technique- the cold shoulder. This would also be a good way to help your kids exercise. Efficient! 

13. He also knows how to teach his kids to have fun. 


Well, he's almost right. No way a scotch lotion is fulfilling. 

14. He would instill patriotism to the highest degree. 



15. He's got sick dance moves to bestow upon the world.



Step Up Ronvolution.

16. FINALLY, he would help his child enjoy what he or she eats. And eat whatever makes them happy. 



Plus if the kid gets Ron Swanson genes, that will be the healthiest meat and junk food eating child of ALL TIME.

NBC listen up, now you know why it's so important to announcement the renewal of Parks and Recreation RIGHT NOW. Or you'll deprive the world of an amazing child fathered by an amazing man. Diane's pretty awesome too. Can't wait for season 6! 

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