It's that time again people!
Can you feel it?
It's witch season on True Blood and to paraphrase Shakespeare (and Harry Potter), something wicked this way comes.
I had the pleasure of watching the season premiere at a fun, quirky bar in New York City called Professor Thoms. It was the perfect True Blood-watching atmosphere, complete with televisions at every booth, silence for every scene and extra-large nachos for a very affordable price. So if you are 21+ and ever want to watch this show with a group of like-minded True Blood fanatics, this is definitely the place to do it. Sunday nights are reverse happy hour nights and every time a True Blood characters dies, everyone in the bar gets a free jello shot. Come and find me, I'll be the Indian girl in the corner booth stuffing her face with XL nachos and free refills of soda.
When we last left our morally ambiguous group, they were about to face some strange and difficult times (as always). Sookie was transported to fairy land, Jason was taking care of incestuous panther-people, Bill was about to fight Queen Sophie Anne to the death, Tara was leaving her hometown for good (not really), Sam was about to shoot younger brother Tommy, and Eric was... covered in cement.
For the first ten minutes, we are transported to fairy sanctuary with Sookie in what I can only assume is some sort of land one would hallucinate during a bad acid trip. While being shown around by fairy godmother, Claudine, Sookie runs into season 2 hotel employee Barry accompanied by his chiseled fairy godmother Lloyd and yes, you did read that correctly.
Sookie sees her grandfather Earl (played by the always wonderful Gary Cole) who has no idea that he's been stuck in fairy world for over 20 years. This time lapse is apparently caused by "light fruit" which basically looks like a glowing pear.
The fairy queen appears and tries to force Sookie into eating the fruit. Sookie sees the manipulation around her, throws her light fruit to the ground and pushes away the fairy queen with her white light power which reveals fairy land to be a desolate disgusting place where the fairies are unwashed and covered with warts.
As Sookie and Earl try to escape (no more mention of Barry by the way), they are chased by the creepy fairies and are forced to jump into a giant hole in the ground that supposedly will transport them back to the real world. They come back to Bon Temps and Sookie is fine but Grandaddy Earl ate the light fruit so he wasn't supposed to come back. Sadly, Earl dies in Sookie's arms right by the grave of his wife, Sookie's grandmother Adele. And as quickly as Gary Cole came onto the show, he left even quicker... What a waste.
Sookie goes back home and finds strange contractors threatening to call the police on her if she doesn't leave. She, of course, throws a sassy line in their direction and in no time, Officer Jason Stackhouse (Really, I'm serious) arrives at the scene. Sookie's confused as to how Jason is a cop already and Jason is just surprised to see Sookie alive. The big twist here is that apparently, Sookie's 10 minutes in fairy land is more like 13 months in the real world so everyone thought Sookie had been killed by Bill. Also, Jason sold Sookie's house to an unknown buyer.
Now that we're back in Bon Temps a year later, it's time to see what everyone has been up to.
As we know now, Jason is a full-blown cop, ill-fitting khaki suit and all. He's now partners with Sheriff Bellefleur who, not so surprisingly, is completely addicted to "V." In a rather hilariously hypocritical turn of events, Jason is trying to get Andy to quit the stuff which he himself didn't stop using until his girlfriend was murdered next to him while he was high. So maybe Andy will have to learn the hard way just like Jason did.
Bill was the main suspect in Sookie's disappearance/possible murder and is cleared of suspicion when Sookie bails him out by saying she was on a secret vampire mission for him (She has only told Jason of her time in fairy land... so far). Bill is looking a LOT more well-rested and is now the vampire King of Louisiana! Guess that explains what happened between him and ex-Queen Sophie Anne. Bill and the American Vampire League leader Nan Flanagan (played by the brilliant character actor Jessica Tuck) are trying to lead a movement to salvage vampires' reputation after it was demolished by Russell Edgington's heinous murder of the anchorman while onair last season. And let me tell you, the anti-vampire fans are out in the hundreds protesting vampire establishments like Fangtasia every night.
Tara is now a resident of New Orleans where she takes part in the respectable, lady-like occupation of... ultimate street fighter? So basically, Tara has found a new way of taking out all of her aggression in the dumbest way. But an actual surprising change for Tara: she's in a lesbian relationship now. But here's a surefire reason why things won't turn out well for these two: the lesbian lover doesn't seem to know Tara's real name, where she's from, and who she used to be.
Sam is still the owner of Merlotte's and is not in jail. At first I thought, "Maybe he didn't go through with it. Maybe Sam decided to help his brother instead of shooting him." BIG no on that one. He definitely shot Tommy but only in the leg and is now paying for rehabilitation that Tommy is milking BIG time. Big surprise on Tommy: he is now living with Hoyt's mother as a sort of replacement Hoyt I guess.
Speaking of Hoyt, he and Jessica are now living together and it looks like the honeymoon period of their relationship has been punted out the door. Hoyt wants a meal waiting for him every once in a while when he gets home while Jessica despises the smell of human food. According to her, handling human food for her is like a trip to the morgue for him. Plus, Jessica keeps eyeing every vampire-lover in Fangtasia during her and Hoyt's trips out on the town.
Lafeyette and Jesus are still together (seems to be Lafeyette's longest relationship) and Jesus drags Lafeyette to wiccan gatherings where he meets Marnie (played by the amazing Fiona Shaw- Aunt Petunia from Harry Potter). Things start out normal enough, the weirdo waitress from Merlotte's who tried to help Arlene get an abortion last season is at the meetings as well. However, normal is just not True Blood's style and of course Marnie introduces necromancy into the proceedings. She has everyone join hands to bring a bird back to life. Lafeyette is hesitant at first and nothing seems to be happening. But as soon as he joins the circle, the bird comes flying back to life (pun intended). Strange... we'll see who wields the real power in the coven in the coming episodes.
All that's left now is Eric. Eric is still Eric. He's still the owner of Fangtasia and he is still extremely loyal to his progeny, Pam. Two differences however: He now has to answer to both Bill and Nan Flanagan and it is revealed that he is the owner of Sookie's home. In the final scene, Eric reveals this information to Sookie and tells her that since her house belongs to him, she cannot get rid of him from the house. Also, he seems to think that since her house now belongs to him, she belongs to him as well. Yea, he'll learn soon that the house keys don't also open Sookie's heart... even though they should.
Well there you have it folks. The first episode of True Blood, retold/wrapped nicely in an efficient manner. I'm only going to be recapping the first and last episodes of the series and doing a quick review of the whole season after the finale airs. Sad I know, but it makes for great suspense. Hope to see some of you at Professor Thoms this Sunday and if not, enjoy the witchy/vampire-y/monster-y world of True Blood. And let's hope Alcide will be popping up soon!
Can you feel it?
It's witch season on True Blood and to paraphrase Shakespeare (and Harry Potter), something wicked this way comes.
I had the pleasure of watching the season premiere at a fun, quirky bar in New York City called Professor Thoms. It was the perfect True Blood-watching atmosphere, complete with televisions at every booth, silence for every scene and extra-large nachos for a very affordable price. So if you are 21+ and ever want to watch this show with a group of like-minded True Blood fanatics, this is definitely the place to do it. Sunday nights are reverse happy hour nights and every time a True Blood characters dies, everyone in the bar gets a free jello shot. Come and find me, I'll be the Indian girl in the corner booth stuffing her face with XL nachos and free refills of soda.
When we last left our morally ambiguous group, they were about to face some strange and difficult times (as always). Sookie was transported to fairy land, Jason was taking care of incestuous panther-people, Bill was about to fight Queen Sophie Anne to the death, Tara was leaving her hometown for good (not really), Sam was about to shoot younger brother Tommy, and Eric was... covered in cement.
For the first ten minutes, we are transported to fairy sanctuary with Sookie in what I can only assume is some sort of land one would hallucinate during a bad acid trip. While being shown around by fairy godmother, Claudine, Sookie runs into season 2 hotel employee Barry accompanied by his chiseled fairy godmother Lloyd and yes, you did read that correctly.
Sookie sees her grandfather Earl (played by the always wonderful Gary Cole) who has no idea that he's been stuck in fairy world for over 20 years. This time lapse is apparently caused by "light fruit" which basically looks like a glowing pear.
See? Weird, glowing, yet delicious-looking pear.
The fairy queen appears and tries to force Sookie into eating the fruit. Sookie sees the manipulation around her, throws her light fruit to the ground and pushes away the fairy queen with her white light power which reveals fairy land to be a desolate disgusting place where the fairies are unwashed and covered with warts.
And... now I've lost my appetite for the rest of the day.
As Sookie and Earl try to escape (no more mention of Barry by the way), they are chased by the creepy fairies and are forced to jump into a giant hole in the ground that supposedly will transport them back to the real world. They come back to Bon Temps and Sookie is fine but Grandaddy Earl ate the light fruit so he wasn't supposed to come back. Sadly, Earl dies in Sookie's arms right by the grave of his wife, Sookie's grandmother Adele. And as quickly as Gary Cole came onto the show, he left even quicker... What a waste.
Sookie goes back home and finds strange contractors threatening to call the police on her if she doesn't leave. She, of course, throws a sassy line in their direction and in no time, Officer Jason Stackhouse (Really, I'm serious) arrives at the scene. Sookie's confused as to how Jason is a cop already and Jason is just surprised to see Sookie alive. The big twist here is that apparently, Sookie's 10 minutes in fairy land is more like 13 months in the real world so everyone thought Sookie had been killed by Bill. Also, Jason sold Sookie's house to an unknown buyer.
Now that we're back in Bon Temps a year later, it's time to see what everyone has been up to.
As we know now, Jason is a full-blown cop, ill-fitting khaki suit and all. He's now partners with Sheriff Bellefleur who, not so surprisingly, is completely addicted to "V." In a rather hilariously hypocritical turn of events, Jason is trying to get Andy to quit the stuff which he himself didn't stop using until his girlfriend was murdered next to him while he was high. So maybe Andy will have to learn the hard way just like Jason did.
Bill was the main suspect in Sookie's disappearance/possible murder and is cleared of suspicion when Sookie bails him out by saying she was on a secret vampire mission for him (She has only told Jason of her time in fairy land... so far). Bill is looking a LOT more well-rested and is now the vampire King of Louisiana! Guess that explains what happened between him and ex-Queen Sophie Anne. Bill and the American Vampire League leader Nan Flanagan (played by the brilliant character actor Jessica Tuck) are trying to lead a movement to salvage vampires' reputation after it was demolished by Russell Edgington's heinous murder of the anchorman while onair last season. And let me tell you, the anti-vampire fans are out in the hundreds protesting vampire establishments like Fangtasia every night.
Tara is now a resident of New Orleans where she takes part in the respectable, lady-like occupation of... ultimate street fighter? So basically, Tara has found a new way of taking out all of her aggression in the dumbest way. But an actual surprising change for Tara: she's in a lesbian relationship now. But here's a surefire reason why things won't turn out well for these two: the lesbian lover doesn't seem to know Tara's real name, where she's from, and who she used to be.
Sam is still the owner of Merlotte's and is not in jail. At first I thought, "Maybe he didn't go through with it. Maybe Sam decided to help his brother instead of shooting him." BIG no on that one. He definitely shot Tommy but only in the leg and is now paying for rehabilitation that Tommy is milking BIG time. Big surprise on Tommy: he is now living with Hoyt's mother as a sort of replacement Hoyt I guess.
Speaking of Hoyt, he and Jessica are now living together and it looks like the honeymoon period of their relationship has been punted out the door. Hoyt wants a meal waiting for him every once in a while when he gets home while Jessica despises the smell of human food. According to her, handling human food for her is like a trip to the morgue for him. Plus, Jessica keeps eyeing every vampire-lover in Fangtasia during her and Hoyt's trips out on the town.
Lafeyette and Jesus are still together (seems to be Lafeyette's longest relationship) and Jesus drags Lafeyette to wiccan gatherings where he meets Marnie (played by the amazing Fiona Shaw- Aunt Petunia from Harry Potter). Things start out normal enough, the weirdo waitress from Merlotte's who tried to help Arlene get an abortion last season is at the meetings as well. However, normal is just not True Blood's style and of course Marnie introduces necromancy into the proceedings. She has everyone join hands to bring a bird back to life. Lafeyette is hesitant at first and nothing seems to be happening. But as soon as he joins the circle, the bird comes flying back to life (pun intended). Strange... we'll see who wields the real power in the coven in the coming episodes.
All that's left now is Eric. Eric is still Eric. He's still the owner of Fangtasia and he is still extremely loyal to his progeny, Pam. Two differences however: He now has to answer to both Bill and Nan Flanagan and it is revealed that he is the owner of Sookie's home. In the final scene, Eric reveals this information to Sookie and tells her that since her house belongs to him, she cannot get rid of him from the house. Also, he seems to think that since her house now belongs to him, she belongs to him as well. Yea, he'll learn soon that the house keys don't also open Sookie's heart... even though they should.
Well there you have it folks. The first episode of True Blood, retold/wrapped nicely in an efficient manner. I'm only going to be recapping the first and last episodes of the series and doing a quick review of the whole season after the finale airs. Sad I know, but it makes for great suspense. Hope to see some of you at Professor Thoms this Sunday and if not, enjoy the witchy/vampire-y/monster-y world of True Blood. And let's hope Alcide will be popping up soon!
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